Day 002

Maybe I should stop counting the number of days, it's lame

I had TOK Focus day which, in my opinion, was a waste of time as the matters brought up to my group discussion were not resolved. At least I came to realise the problem of definition that exists in such discussions. The problem of definitions must be resolved before the discussion even starts so that the participants will not have to digress to the same problem over and over again. Sigh... What am I saying here is a waste of your time.

I'm tired now. Why am I tired? I do not know why.
I updated my facebook information, but I do not think that is necessary at all, as my pessimistic mind tells me that no one's going to read my profile anyway. Everyone has their own friend, and those who prefers to be approached, people like me, should go and live a lonely life forever and ever, AMEN. This pessimistic mind bugs me a lot. It's just my nature. Especially when I am in a bad mood like now, my pessimistic mind will play more part in my course of thinking.

Oh, and I read about terrorism in India, how Indian Muslims are offended by the lack of concern shown by the officials regarding the 2002 Indian Muslim massacre. Seriously, I do not care about this. All I think about now is the stupidity of human. How idiotic they can become. Seriously, I think people should really start to think carefully about their actions. Fighting for religion, in my opinion is absurd! What the hell do you gain from those fights? Glory for your religion? So be it, but what do you sacrifice at the expense of that glory? Ah, screw it all. Why do you need religion, HAH? Worse still, you are all forgetting the fundamental reason why religions are created? What is that fundamental reason, I wonder? Isn't it love? Isn't it peace? Has it been created so that people can fight for its TEMPORARY glory? Everything is temporary! Why bother?

Oh, "Everything is temporary; why bother?". This is one of my formulated quote. It makes me feel this life, or everyone's lives, are pointless. Our existence, aren't they pointless? The mere reason why we have to exist is questionable? Why do we have to exist? Shouldn't we end the sufferings of mankind by ending them all? Just like getting rid of stain in a piece of cloth by throwing it away together with the stain. Has anyone mentioned that human need to exist for the universe to go on? Then why is it that we want to exist so badly?

Oh, and Christians think that we exist so as a prove of God's glory. Our existence is to glorify God. If this is true, then isn't God a selfish being? Why the hell did He create us, helpless creatures, just to glorify him? Oh perhaps we are never intended to think the way we do now. Thanks to Adam and Eve who ate the fruit of knowledge! If only they did not eat the fruit, then we could have lived a simpler life, similar to that of the rest of animals in the world. Ignorance is bliss. Had they not eaten the fruit of knowledge, we could have been ignorant of our surrounding and be happy! Screw them for giving birth to our ancestors who eventually give birth to us, that we, the residue of their sexual pleasure, must endure the pain and suffering of the world. This is just a criticism on human existence according to Christianity.

You see, our existence is rather futile. Why bother to exist? Let's be optimistic for a while, shall we? We have no choice but to exist. We have two choices on how to live our life. One, do not bother about it and live an empty, drifting life. Two, we might as well make full use of this life and gain as much as possible since we can not choose not to exist anyway. The second option is the optimistic view about life, of course. However, we sometimes forget about the fact that we do not necessarily need to strive for meaningful life. Striving for a meaningful/good life is just one of the two possible options. Why is it that we tend to forget about this? Hope! Hope is the thing! We always have hopes about better tomorrow, better life, etc. Redding in the movie "Shawshank Redemption" said "Hope, my young friend, is a dangerous thing". It's true to a certain degree. Hope makes us delusional sometimes. However, hope is also the reason why we strive for a meaningful life, isn't it?

This blog can go on forever. I'm even tired of talking to myself now. Again, my pessimistic mind tells me that no one will be bothered to read this discussion anyway. This is one of those things that we, humans, take for granted. If we can be happy with an assumed reasons to live, why bother questioning? I can't help but to think that most of us think according to this statement. Ignorance is bliss after all. Suddenly, this common phrase appears to my mind very frequently nowadays. We, the ignorant beings, are happy, but behind those happiness, there exists foul and corrupted situations that we choose to forget about. When will this delusion end?
When?
When?
When?

This questions, by the way, has been bugging me all this time. It is the fundamental question of human existence which answer probably lies beyond my understanding. However, just like a mathematical graph approaches an asymptote, I'm helplessly striving for that asymptote, that limit too. Ironical, isn't it? that I who is disgusted by hope, have hopes to reach the unreachable. It's just human...