Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Dun feel like doing it....

Sigh...
As you may have already guessed, I dun feel like doing what i should be doing. It is a very irresponsible thing to do but I just dun feel like doing anything at all. Oh, and by the way, 'it' refers to mostly school and all their academic works. Bah...

Here I am hiding away in a classroom when I should be going for a school function. Why? Because I dun feel like doing anything, and this is how I do nothing by pressing keyboard buttons and reading a kindly-asked-to-leave-the-school teacher's blog. It was because of his blog that he was dismissed from the school. I fancy him for being who he is. He's too smart for his own good though.

Oh, since I'm illegally hiding in an empty classroom, I'm kind of freaked out every time I hear some noise just outside the classroom. Shucks. I'm quite a paranoid, I must confess. I fear many things. Somehow, I also fear that people find out what I'm doing when I'm all alone like now. Sigh... I just want to be alone, undisturbed, for once. Oh, I'm hearing footsteps! Nope, the lady was not able to detect my presence in the seemingly empty classroom. Lucky me...

Oh, i mentioned about me being a game addict. Why do I play game? I guess it is to kill time while I'm drifting nowhere. I'm just afraid to move on. Is it? Yeah. If, if only, time can freeze anytime I want it to, things will be so much better. Still, it is not going to happen. Welcome to reality...

Maybe what I need now is 'deconditioning' from games and conditioning for something else. The fear of being discovered is still creeping me. How does being discovered become a horror to me, I wonder... Being discovered means that I'm pulled out of my own personal world, forcefully, which basically sucks. Why is it so? I just want to be left alone for a while, to have a peace.

I better get going now, even though I do not want to.
Sigh.. Living in a community is not that easy..

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