This is one of those posts that i will cut short. I am pissed because my broadband provider, Mobile 1, is ripping off my money. I paid 22 S$ per month, and for what? For a constantly 'interrupted' internet service. Why use all those flowery language when u explain to your customers? Can't u be more frank by saying that internet speed will be like shit when many people from your area is using the service. You see, they promised 1 Mb/s internet speed, but that promise is, oh well, a lie. Download speed barely reach 70Kb/s. I've never seen faster download speed than 70Kb/s.
Worse still, they are franchising their broadband internet, without even upgrading the internet signal strength. Now that many people are using this broadband, we never know if M1 is actually doing their part to fulfill their promise. Oh well, I don't think they will be bothered to do that.
"There are many people using the broadband service and they are bound for 6 months, therefore I am safe as their money will keep on pouring into my company. Who cares about upgrading the system, as long as I get that money from my foolish customers who came to me just like ants towards a piece of cake. Indeed, this project is a success, in business terms, I mean. People keep on pouring in and I have no need to upgrade the system at all." I guess this is what their manager is saying.
I wonder if this is still considered as a service...
DAMN YOU MOBILE ONE!!!
ALONG WITH HUMAN BEINGS AND ALL THEIR FUCKING GREED!!!
DAMN ME TOO FOR BEING ONE OF THOSE HUMAN!!!
ALIENS SHOULD COME AND EXTERMINATE us and OBLITERATE human civilisations for the betterment of the universe.
Sigh... Oh, and in case you are wondering how come I am still using this internet service while my friend should have unsubscribed from this service, it is because he left Singapore without even remembering about this shit he has with me.
Sorry for the vulgarities, they always exist in my mind...
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
I survived Cambodia
Yes, I survived a seven days trip in Cambodia. I do not know if the word "survived" is appropriate for this trip. I must confess, it is quite enjoyable and not as torturous as the word "survive" may imply. The hotel was good, the tour guide was friendly, the places I visited are interesting, I could learn many things about Cambodian culture, but then there is something missing, i think...
We visited an orphanage. Personally, I think the things that we (me and my classmates) organise at the orphanage are messed up. All of them are messed up. However, the orphans over there are... very friendly. Yes, on the last day of our visit there, everyone but me played some traditional/local game with the orphans until, in extreme cases, 4 in the morning. Unbelievable isn't it? It is intriguing how modernised people still have that desire to play some 'lame' games with the orphans, and think that they are fun. Well, to tell you the truth, I personally think that the games are, indeed, fun. The most mind blowing fact of all is that some of my classmates even have (had) a crush on some female orphans.
You may ask, "what's wrong with having a crush like that?" The problem is, in my humble personal opinion, such relationship can not go on due to the different backgrounds between us and the kids over there. We are not Cambodians and the orphans are not Singaporeans. Worse still, we are so far apart from each other. Few days without contact will kill off the love that we may have towards the orphans. I had my own experience trying, desperately and hopelessly, to uphold the relationship or, should I say, love towards someone so distant from me. She is basically my childhood friend. We are far apart from each other, and my attempts to retain the relationship that we had failed miserably. So, based on my personal experience, a distant relationship can not go on.
What are we in the orphans eyes? I think we are not more than friends. We are just one of those groups that visited the orphanage. Even so, my classmates are looking forward for another trip during the next school holiday. Sigh, I wonder how long they retain such a futile passion, now that it is incredibly hard for us to contact the orphans. Enough about orphans, dammit. Thinking of them makes me more and more depressed.
Why do i get depressed when I think of those orphans? Regret. I truly regret for not playing with them on that last night in the orphanage. I was trying to retain my sanity in my room, alone, after I witnessed a betrayal by someone I do not particularly like at that time. It is, in a way, good for my classmates that they can love those orphans. As for me, I find it difficult to love. This loveless dude, is kind of depressed because he find it hard to love anyone. He finds everything so unfaithful, so not eternal, so futile. He does not want to be hurt when those things that he love is taken away from him. Therefore, he decided that he might as well not love anyone or anything. Drifting...
Anyways, the trip was interesting. We visited a slaughterhouse for Cambodians during Pol Pot time. We visited the palace where Cambodian kings' throne resides. We visited a local village. We visited a temple. We visited a market with all those unbelievably cheap and, of course, fake stuf in the market. We shoot people down... Wait. That doesn't sound right. We shoot them down with our cameras. That sounds better. (Thanks for not laughing). I'm spending too much time on this post. No wonder people ask me if I have enough time for such a thing like this blog. Fine, I'll keep my future posts shorter, especially those that are posted during school holidays.
It's the end... My broadband internet will be taken away today, and I can never post anything till I purchase my own broadband internet. So... This is a temporal farewell, I hope.
We visited an orphanage. Personally, I think the things that we (me and my classmates) organise at the orphanage are messed up. All of them are messed up. However, the orphans over there are... very friendly. Yes, on the last day of our visit there, everyone but me played some traditional/local game with the orphans until, in extreme cases, 4 in the morning. Unbelievable isn't it? It is intriguing how modernised people still have that desire to play some 'lame' games with the orphans, and think that they are fun. Well, to tell you the truth, I personally think that the games are, indeed, fun. The most mind blowing fact of all is that some of my classmates even have (had) a crush on some female orphans.
You may ask, "what's wrong with having a crush like that?" The problem is, in my humble personal opinion, such relationship can not go on due to the different backgrounds between us and the kids over there. We are not Cambodians and the orphans are not Singaporeans. Worse still, we are so far apart from each other. Few days without contact will kill off the love that we may have towards the orphans. I had my own experience trying, desperately and hopelessly, to uphold the relationship or, should I say, love towards someone so distant from me. She is basically my childhood friend. We are far apart from each other, and my attempts to retain the relationship that we had failed miserably. So, based on my personal experience, a distant relationship can not go on.
What are we in the orphans eyes? I think we are not more than friends. We are just one of those groups that visited the orphanage. Even so, my classmates are looking forward for another trip during the next school holiday. Sigh, I wonder how long they retain such a futile passion, now that it is incredibly hard for us to contact the orphans. Enough about orphans, dammit. Thinking of them makes me more and more depressed.
Why do i get depressed when I think of those orphans? Regret. I truly regret for not playing with them on that last night in the orphanage. I was trying to retain my sanity in my room, alone, after I witnessed a betrayal by someone I do not particularly like at that time. It is, in a way, good for my classmates that they can love those orphans. As for me, I find it difficult to love. This loveless dude, is kind of depressed because he find it hard to love anyone. He finds everything so unfaithful, so not eternal, so futile. He does not want to be hurt when those things that he love is taken away from him. Therefore, he decided that he might as well not love anyone or anything. Drifting...
Anyways, the trip was interesting. We visited a slaughterhouse for Cambodians during Pol Pot time. We visited the palace where Cambodian kings' throne resides. We visited a local village. We visited a temple. We visited a market with all those unbelievably cheap and, of course, fake stuf in the market. We shoot people down... Wait. That doesn't sound right. We shoot them down with our cameras. That sounds better. (Thanks for not laughing). I'm spending too much time on this post. No wonder people ask me if I have enough time for such a thing like this blog. Fine, I'll keep my future posts shorter, especially those that are posted during school holidays.
It's the end... My broadband internet will be taken away today, and I can never post anything till I purchase my own broadband internet. So... This is a temporal farewell, I hope.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Dun feel like doing it....
Sigh...
As you may have already guessed, I dun feel like doing what i should be doing. It is a very irresponsible thing to do but I just dun feel like doing anything at all. Oh, and by the way, 'it' refers to mostly school and all their academic works. Bah...
Here I am hiding away in a classroom when I should be going for a school function. Why? Because I dun feel like doing anything, and this is how I do nothing by pressing keyboard buttons and reading a kindly-asked-to-leave-the-school teacher's blog. It was because of his blog that he was dismissed from the school. I fancy him for being who he is. He's too smart for his own good though.
Oh, since I'm illegally hiding in an empty classroom, I'm kind of freaked out every time I hear some noise just outside the classroom. Shucks. I'm quite a paranoid, I must confess. I fear many things. Somehow, I also fear that people find out what I'm doing when I'm all alone like now. Sigh... I just want to be alone, undisturbed, for once. Oh, I'm hearing footsteps! Nope, the lady was not able to detect my presence in the seemingly empty classroom. Lucky me...
Oh, i mentioned about me being a game addict. Why do I play game? I guess it is to kill time while I'm drifting nowhere. I'm just afraid to move on. Is it? Yeah. If, if only, time can freeze anytime I want it to, things will be so much better. Still, it is not going to happen. Welcome to reality...
Maybe what I need now is 'deconditioning' from games and conditioning for something else. The fear of being discovered is still creeping me. How does being discovered become a horror to me, I wonder... Being discovered means that I'm pulled out of my own personal world, forcefully, which basically sucks. Why is it so? I just want to be left alone for a while, to have a peace.
I better get going now, even though I do not want to.
Sigh.. Living in a community is not that easy..
As you may have already guessed, I dun feel like doing what i should be doing. It is a very irresponsible thing to do but I just dun feel like doing anything at all. Oh, and by the way, 'it' refers to mostly school and all their academic works. Bah...
Here I am hiding away in a classroom when I should be going for a school function. Why? Because I dun feel like doing anything, and this is how I do nothing by pressing keyboard buttons and reading a kindly-asked-to-leave-the-school teacher's blog. It was because of his blog that he was dismissed from the school. I fancy him for being who he is. He's too smart for his own good though.
Oh, since I'm illegally hiding in an empty classroom, I'm kind of freaked out every time I hear some noise just outside the classroom. Shucks. I'm quite a paranoid, I must confess. I fear many things. Somehow, I also fear that people find out what I'm doing when I'm all alone like now. Sigh... I just want to be alone, undisturbed, for once. Oh, I'm hearing footsteps! Nope, the lady was not able to detect my presence in the seemingly empty classroom. Lucky me...
Oh, i mentioned about me being a game addict. Why do I play game? I guess it is to kill time while I'm drifting nowhere. I'm just afraid to move on. Is it? Yeah. If, if only, time can freeze anytime I want it to, things will be so much better. Still, it is not going to happen. Welcome to reality...
Maybe what I need now is 'deconditioning' from games and conditioning for something else. The fear of being discovered is still creeping me. How does being discovered become a horror to me, I wonder... Being discovered means that I'm pulled out of my own personal world, forcefully, which basically sucks. Why is it so? I just want to be left alone for a while, to have a peace.
I better get going now, even though I do not want to.
Sigh.. Living in a community is not that easy..
Third attempt
This is the third attempt to use blog as a mean of reflection, for the sake of sanity and realisation. This being the third attempt means that the previous two failed miserably. However, I will still try to do this.
So... Why is it that I want to do blogging? It's to find out what I have always been thinking about. It also lets me know that I'm not someone who is simply drifting towards no man's land.
In case you are wondering why I use 'River of Dreams' as my blog title, the reason is because I love the song so much. It's sung by Billy Joel, by the way. I find one art of the lyrics of the song very meaningful. The singer is searching for something 'so undefined, that it can only be seen by the eyes of the blind'. So what is this thing? I wonder... is it identity? A definition of myself, thought I can't really find that exact definition. Maybe my senses will not help me to find this thing, or even becoming a hindrance in a quest of finding it.
Today, I finished my mathematics portfolio at 5am in the morning. I made further amendments at 8am. I submitted it at 10am. I must confess, it is not my own work. I am ashamed of this fact, but I have to cheat up to a certain degree in order to survive. At least, I really tried my best to explain everything in my own words, based on what I understand about the question.
I must say, I'm the biggest loser of all. I started to do the maths portfolio early and ended up at the same stage as those who started one day before the submission day. Maybe I'm never suited for this kind of thing anyway. Maybe, I'm, never good at these subjects. Sigh... What a loser. So much for a learning process that does not really mean a thing to others but myself. My only hope from doing these things by myself as much as possible is that through the pain and angst i experience in the process, I can learn something from it. Then, I guess I should not give a damn about others.
By the way, I need to sleep early. I am doped by a cup of coffee this morning. In the next post, I think I will talk about me being a game addict. I confess once again... Quite ashamed of that. This will be elaborated in the next post.
Let this third attempt be a successful one, amen. All I need to do is to condition myself for it. By the way, a little hint about my identity (I mean, what I'm known for), it's TABASCO and MUSTARD. It's funny how I want to keep myself anonymous but at the same time I want people who knows me to know me through this blog. It's just like those writers who wants to convey their points to the readers by hiding their message in their literary works.
Cut... Cut... Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing...
So... Why is it that I want to do blogging? It's to find out what I have always been thinking about. It also lets me know that I'm not someone who is simply drifting towards no man's land.
In case you are wondering why I use 'River of Dreams' as my blog title, the reason is because I love the song so much. It's sung by Billy Joel, by the way. I find one art of the lyrics of the song very meaningful. The singer is searching for something 'so undefined, that it can only be seen by the eyes of the blind'. So what is this thing? I wonder... is it identity? A definition of myself, thought I can't really find that exact definition. Maybe my senses will not help me to find this thing, or even becoming a hindrance in a quest of finding it.
Today, I finished my mathematics portfolio at 5am in the morning. I made further amendments at 8am. I submitted it at 10am. I must confess, it is not my own work. I am ashamed of this fact, but I have to cheat up to a certain degree in order to survive. At least, I really tried my best to explain everything in my own words, based on what I understand about the question.
I must say, I'm the biggest loser of all. I started to do the maths portfolio early and ended up at the same stage as those who started one day before the submission day. Maybe I'm never suited for this kind of thing anyway. Maybe, I'm, never good at these subjects. Sigh... What a loser. So much for a learning process that does not really mean a thing to others but myself. My only hope from doing these things by myself as much as possible is that through the pain and angst i experience in the process, I can learn something from it. Then, I guess I should not give a damn about others.
By the way, I need to sleep early. I am doped by a cup of coffee this morning. In the next post, I think I will talk about me being a game addict. I confess once again... Quite ashamed of that. This will be elaborated in the next post.
Let this third attempt be a successful one, amen. All I need to do is to condition myself for it. By the way, a little hint about my identity (I mean, what I'm known for), it's TABASCO and MUSTARD. It's funny how I want to keep myself anonymous but at the same time I want people who knows me to know me through this blog. It's just like those writers who wants to convey their points to the readers by hiding their message in their literary works.
Cut... Cut... Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing...
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