In my wildest dream!

15th June 2008, (Late Post)

Last night, I dreamt of me being a summoner. You know, the summoner in final fantasy X kind.

Summoners in the story are supposed to sacrifice their lives in order to give a brief period of peace to the world, which will then be ended shortly after it came with the rebirth of an almighty monster 'Sin'. Well, you are free to laugh... In my dream, I was one of those summoners who are determined to sacrifice their lives to kill Sin and bring about brief period of peace to the world before Sin is reborn again.

However, this summoner Yuna has slain Sin and this time, it's not going to be reborn. Everyone was happy, of course. I somehow came in during this period. I was still determined to sacrifice my life... For what? For the betterment of mankind. How? I do not know how. I wished that Yuna has not killed Sin for good, cos then I will have the chance to sacrifice myself for the people.

I even met her in the dream. She is a very pretty lady, I must say. Well, a dream is still a dream. I told her that somehow, i still want to have a 'good' death, and I still have the chance to have myself killed for obscure reasons by going to an altar that actually never exist, even in the game. I cant remember what she said and what I finally chose to do so. At the altar, I'm supposed to slit my wrist and let my blood flow out. I dunno what happened after that. I however remembered that I flew with one of my aeons. I felt the cold winds rushing through my hair and my skin. It was so strong, I have to almost close my eyes. It was probably the air blowing out from my room's air conditioner in the real life.

It's an awesome experience in an awesome dream, indeed. I chose to extend my sleep just to continue dreaming, but it is not still resolved in the end. I hate unresolved stories, so I'm kind of disappointed that I was not able to see the ending of that dream. How I wish that I live in such a world where sacrificing myself for the betterment of mankind is a possible option for my death. It's kind of good suicide, you know. It's only that the word suicide is concealed by the word sacrifice. As I was thinking of that fabulous dream, I looked around me, and thought, 'here I am, stuck in an obscure world of reality, and such things never existed in this world I'm living in'.

It's depressing, really. Does the world in my dream exist? I want to go there and run away from this crazy world I'm currently in. This is just a close-to-insane man's note which others may find as imaginative and crazy dream. I want it recorded, that's all. So that one day, if I'm to be in such a world, I can SCREAM for joy.