Another late post...

There are so many problems I have to face just to achieve my dream. So many risks I have to take. As for my dream to go to japan, I have to make myself aware of what I'm actually dreaming about. After that, I need to resolve the problem I will face. For instance, I have to contact the embassy tomorrow. 'Can I even do it?'. These thoughts always haunt me. I'm going to take risk to go against all odds, only for something that I may not even get. I'll have to give up my other set of future to try to grasp a supposedly better future. Argh, it's so confusing I want to puke. Gosh... What should I do with my life? Once I'm married, I will be bound to my family and I'll have to fulfil my duties as a father. To marry someone... Yet another risk that I'll have to take. Infuriating, is there such a word?

This is to go to my blog.

Where was I... I want to go to japan. Do I? Yes. Why? I like the Japanese Culture that I've been seeing in TVs. How? They respect each other when they talk. Moreover, I'd like to experience something brand new. Japan is the answer. I also like Japan in its geographical aspect. They have beautiful Sakura that only grows in the country. They have wonderful, and I mean, wonderful, tourism spots. So beautiful that I'm tempted to go there if I have the funds. The standard of education in Japan is high as well. Good culture, extraordinary views, and high standard of education, plus the desire to learn and experience something different, Japan is indeed a perfect place to be for me.

Ooo, you're going to say that in your interview?

maybe, and more about my dream of touring around Japan, seeing wonderful stuff for real.

Aren't you getting discouraged by the fact that there can be as many as 1000 applicants, while only 13 of them are chosen. 13:1000+, that's quite a figure, I must say.

Yeah, I do feel discouraged when I heard that there can be more than 1000 applicants annually. However, I do hope that they can see my worth during the selection tests and interviews, you know. I have weaknesses that I never cared to tend to. I confess, I'm weak in mathematics. I'm quite a game maniac. I can be lazy. What the hell! stating all this makes me feel embarrassed of myself. I should be. Just look back on your holiday. How many days were spent without doing anything? 80% or rather 95% of your time were spent on unnecessary things. I'm ashamed of myself... Why am I such a loser? I CAN CHANGE!!! FOR THE SAKE OF A BETTER FUTURE, I CAN CHANGE, I HAVE TO CHANGE, I MUST CHANGE, I MUST BE WILLING TO CHANGE!!!!

You must remember that this is not an easy task. You know it well. Just look at how many failed attempts you made. ACTIONS speak louder, much louder than WORDS!!! You better remember this well, YOU CANNOT STAY LIKE THIS, THE WAY YOU ARE RIGHT NOW. SOONER OR LATER, you'll have to change your ways. Why do you want to postpone it? When will you wake up! how else should I arrange words to make it so striking towards myself when I read them in the future? It is a struggle, if you choose not to struggle, then you are indeed a loser. Wake up? How long more will u be asleep? You better read this, and make it striking enough for you every time you read it.

You are capable to be a great man, it's just the willingness that is missing. Grasp that willingness, and you'll prosper... U only need to do that simple task, get urself willing to make use of your capability!