The Breaking Point+++

(snap...)

Yeah, it's the breaking point. How long has it been since I posted the last post? a few weeks, I suppose. That's because I'm back to my obsession of online games and stupid stuff like that. It turned out that I'm not that strong anyway. So, why the sudden urge to post something anyway? Erm... I guess today, or rather, yesterday was a special day. It's one of my best friends' birthday. I do not know what she might think of me at the moment, but at least I still think of her as a good childhood friend that I possibly can never forget. The other factor that leads to me accessing my blog is because I took a sip of coffee and I can not sleep now. I'm using my iPod as timer. 60 minutes of blogging and I'll go to sleep.

In a few hours time I will be having my maths test. I have a feeling that I'll screw it up. Over.
In a few hours time, I will be free from exams but will be burdened by other things. Over.
I felt clueless just a few hours ago, so that is why today is another breaking point. Clueless of what I actually want to do. Why am I doing the things that I'm currently doing? These kind of questions you know... I still do not know the answers to these questions, but anyway...
Oh, and I have a feeling that I am a failure in every aspects. I always thought that I have some academic capabilities, but the results of this examination will obviously prove it to be wrong. Worse still, I am a failure as a social being. I do not make friends easily and I do not particularly attract others as I do not have outstanding qualities like others do. So, this unwanted being is mourning over his failure in everything.

Those thoughts arise from the fact that my roommates for next year is still undecided, and my friends seem to... avoid me. Like he does not want me to be his roommate. He did not even ask me. It hurts me a lot cos I thought he is the only friend I have, and it turned out that he favours a certain people more than me. Makes me feel more and more unwanted. Unwanted. Unwanted. UNWANTED!!!! Sigh... Might as well die now and not a thing will change. I always have this thought in a small corner of my mind. "Might as well die now". The resolve to that is clear. Make yourself useful and get wanted. Counter argument: Till when?

Go to sleep and forget about all these, be born anew when you wake up.
Hahahahahahahahah <---- The conspirator's laugh...